Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Things You Should Never, Ever Do

Posted by Dante at 12:51 AM
This post actually comes from a relatively weird place. You see, my good friend Vanir was scoping out Living Dice and linked me to a story where they were discussing the creepiest or most disgusting gamers that people have ever come across in their travels. After reading a few of these I was shocked... I thought that gamers like this were overblown stereotypes, misconceptions concocted by those that don't understand our ways.

I was appalled to behold the tale of Jack. This single story has eroded my faith in our subculture's ability to conduct itself.

Please allow me to lay a few things out for you all.

We aren't the largest site on the Internet, however there is a somewhat increased chance that the Jack's of the world might be reading this site so there are a few things that I have to say.
  1. Wear deodorant - They tell you this in the GenCon Book every year, and its not a funny joke. If you don't shower every day of the convention, at least have the decency to fall on top of some SpeedStick or spray yourself with some Axe before you leave the hotel in teh morning.

    GenCon is a very magical place, however it does not prevent you from sweating if you are normally susceptible to perspiration. Magic like that cannot be contained by the RCA Dome.

  2. I can't believe I have to spell this out, but don't crap yourself around others. Now, I've been known to bust some stink occasionally, but if you know there's a greater than 70% chance that The Real Deal will occur, go to the can.

    And I promise you this: if I am at the gaming table with you at GenCon and you crap your pants and don't have a medical reason to do so, I'm going to punch you in the throat. Adult human beings should not need to have this explained to them.

  3. Don't be annoying. This is a general rule, but applies to the rest of the areas of nuance that I don't have the bandwidth to elaborate upon here: Just because you think its ok doesn't mean that it is.

    Jack's story had me really taking stock of my annoying habits, thankfully I don't believe that I or any of my campaign-mates have flaws as grandiose as ol' Jack. A little introspection can't hurt though... try and rank the top three things that you do that might offend sensibilities, and do the rest of society a favor and work on these things a little bit.

    I'll even start for you: aside from the aforementioned relieving of gas, I sometimes make large scale crude and/or offensive jokes during our gaming session. Most of our group doesn't mind these things, but I'm aware of it to know when enough is enough (most of the time). Acknowledging it is the first step to eliminating it, so I suggest some stock-taking occur for the better good.

    For the record: that includes answering nature's call in front of other humans with reckless abandon.
I hope I don't have to revisit this topic.

There are many other rules that dictate common social graces that nerds need to examine, but I hope we don't have to start a regular feature here about what not to do when around other members of the human race.

If you want a little continued reading on the matter, visit the forum I linked above and read all about the worst of the worst. If you recognize yourself in any of those stories, change your freaking behavior!

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