Excerpts from Insanity: Day Two...

Tonight was the finale of our all-bard D&D session. We were graced by many hilarious events, which included a drop-in by Dave The Game from Critical Hits. Skype is a wonderful thing, and I really appreciated Dave stopping in!

Below you will find a continuation of my tweet-stream from yesterday. WARNING: OFFENSIVE CONTENT BELOW.

Golden Harvest Music Festival: The Saga Continues

OK, we have started D&D Round 2 of our game. They wake up, eat "bacon and funnel cake" and are now fighting a flaming hippy. Yes, really.

The other hippies have now lit on fire. Our two bards have vowed to never play this festival again.

The burning hippies now smell like burning hair and feet.

Still fighting burning hippies, which have now been reduced to burning skeletons.

The hippy knapsacks hold three small bags of acrid looking weed, 120 gp, some cloaks, and a picture of someone who looks like @DaveTheGame.

@geeksdreamgirl is beating @stupidranger in the "Most Enemies Killed" contest. They're arguing about this now, just like Goliaths should.

This is the only time in history where calling your wife a Goliath isn't going to result in multiple spiral fractures of your skeleton.

"That's a pretty lame talent. My talent is kicking ass." --@geeksdreamgirl

The original talent was @stupidranger 's belching.

We are now taking a campaign break in order to have Spring Funfetti Cake. Mmm... cake. The girls are calling it "+5 cakefetti of funness"

@geeksdreamgirl is graphically explaining to me a penis cake pan that a friend of hers had. Seasonal penis cakes, at that.

Now they're trying to find @DaveTheGame in this crowd. Why must they latch on to this useless bit of flavor? Now I have to roleplay Dave.

I have cast @DaveTheGame as the hippy's drug dealer, and the girls just said "we should tell him his weed is giving people flaming boners."

Also, in case anyone is curious: @DaveTheGame is apparently the hunkiest man in the RPG Blogosphere.

Now we're discussing the other men in the RPG Blogosphere. Apparently its good to be Yax.

"We got tingly britches looking @DaveTheGame " -@geeksdreamgirl

@DaveTheGame just joined us via Skype

Referring to the food vendor: "Were you all over his bacon?" @stupidranger: "No, I was just in it for the funnel."

"Is this bacon funnel cake vegetarian?" -@DaveTheGame

Now they are discussing the new information provided by @DaveTheGame. I think they're going to try to Diplomacy some other NPC into bed.

They've decided to name their group "The Horny Bitches".

They want you all to know that their bards play horns. And they are bitches.

@stupidranger : "We're going to share a teabag."

Oh good, now they're re-enacting the iocaine powder scene of Princess Bride over their cups of tea.

Cassini is almost dead, so hopefully we'll return to our scheduled session soon.

They've sweet-talked their way on stage with their nemesis's big show tonight. Little do they know its going to be crazy. Mwhahaha.

"I love my horn, but I don't spoon it at night." That one was a joint effort between both @stupidranger and @geeksdreamgirl.

They're grilling Jekk's wife, who tells them a sordid tale about some elders that commissioned him for the show and didn't show up to watch.

Now they're finally connecting some of the plot dots, I love it when a plan comes together!

Now they're proposing offering him a lesbian threesome in order to lure Jekk into a position where they can steal his magic lute.

My mistake, it would be a foursome because they aim to include Jekk's wife. Fantastic.

Oh good, now they're coming up with a more reasonable plan. That's good.

Jekk just unleashed a void full of demons, to cleanse and punish the chaotic crowd as he was instructed to do.

Now @geeksdreamgirl is aiming to destroy the magical lute that is holding the rift open.

One of the roadies is throwing in to help them fight the Big Bads

They're having a discussion about Bobo the Invisible One-Eyed Bear and how @geekdreamgirl 's character should love him during the battle.

Woooo! @stupidranger just critted him in his face!

They have won the day and destroyed the evil bard/galeb duhr in disguise!

And they destroyed the lute, sucking all of the bad demons back to the plane from whence they came!

*cue victory music and roll credits*

Excerpts from Insanity...

We began our short "for fun" campaign tonight, and e from Geek's Dream Girl and Stupid Ranger did not disappoint. Since we don't have a Twitter appliance installed yet, I would like to share some of the excerpts from our first night of adventure.

The Background

We have Toccata and Fugue, twin Goliath sisters. They are bards, play trumpets, and have multiclassed themselves as silly as possible at 5th level. They are ultra-competitive, which only adds to the relative insanity.

The campaign takes place at a remote Woodstock-like music festival, where a major act is headlining and the throngs of people that have shown up are drunk and in a party mood.

The following excerpts are from my Twitter, in chronological order for readability's sake.

The Tweets

WARNING: Some content may be inappropriate. You have been warned.

"OK, we've got two Goliath Bards that were orphans raised by dwarves. One can summon a spirit bear with one eye named Bobo. What next?"

"We're both big, so we need big... implements." -e

"And I keep my holy symbol of Moradin between my tits." -e

"The dwarves, they may not have the length but they certainly have the girth." -e

"Dwarven girls can handle the girth, but just can't stand the length" -e

"Do I hear screams of excitement, or ...... excitement? -stupidranger

And now we're discussing breast augmentation creams and now they would work in D&D.

"Barf is more potent than beer because it has stomach acid." -e

Now I'm being asked the average penis length for a half-elf. Anyone know?

Now we're fighting some ghouls. They're mocking the ghoul's bandana.

Thank God, this session is over for the night. Time to replenish material and rest my weary psyche.

A Cautionary Tale? Hardly!

As you can see, we had some fun. Despite all of the roleplay time, the two of them made it a fair way through my prepared content so I feel like it was a rousing success! As you can see, not much effort was made to constrain their desire to roleplay and be as crazy, and we still managed to progress the plot.

I think it was a pretty good attempt at a campaign in the style I discussed yesterday, I highly recommend you give this type of not-too-serious campaigning a try!

The Steaming Power of Irreverence...

This week, StupidRanger Central West is hosting the one, the only e. from Geek's Dream Girl! She's here to work with Stupid Ranger on their upcoming book project, but in their "off hours" we are going to play a week-long irreverent campaign featuring bards. Two of them. Goliaths, in fact.

How to play in an irreverent campaign

Judging from the loud laughing and excited talking from the other room, this campaign is going to be a treat. I've already been interrupted once to be asked if they can have a ornery goat as a pet, and they're talking about playing their characters as mentally disturbed.

It looks like this campaign is going to be none-too-serious!

Here's some tips for DMing a campaign of this calibre:

1. Create exceeding amounts of local color.
   
   Characters, the city or venue they are in, even ridiculous buildings or rituals can provide a good backdrop when players want to have fun.
   
   
2. Let them be a little unbalanced.
   
   I decided to let the two of them select a few magic items that they would like to have, and level up to 5th level. Reasons are twofold: people focus on roleplaying more when they're not fretting over having a 3rd level songblade, and I hate lower level campaigning! Fighting wolves or goblins can only go on for so long, this lets me throw some things that are fun for me at them. Hey, even the DM is entitled to have a little fun too!
   
   
3. Keep it fun, stupid!
   
   The whole point of an irreverent campaign is to have a good time. Throw ridiculous events or circumstances at the players, present them with a rich opportunity for roleplay and some combat.
   
   The general rule of thumb is:
   If everyone is laughing and having a good time, you're doing it right!

I'm off to research if they make chastity belts large enough for Goliaths now! More on these strange events tomorrow!